new space!

Jan. 6th, 2017 03:59 pm
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This is still a friends-locked journal, though it will mostly be used as an archive. If I know you, feel free to request friendship and peruse the archives.

I'm getting rid of - most of, except the really interesting stuff - the Twitter autofeed. No one needs to see that.
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comment to be friended!
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So, I have realized two things:
1. That I would like to be able to keep up with the people I love better,
2. That I simultaneously friend everyone and then never comment on their journals.

Therefore, I'm doing that thing where if I never talk to you or you never talk to me, I pare down the list a bit, in the hopes that I can actually look at this thing without being goddamn terrified. (A lot of this is community-deleting.) Please know I love you all and have really enjoyed reading your journals and being part of your lives - it's just that time. <3

If you would like to stay on the old f'list please drop me a note(for example, you also are the type of person who never talks! or you are, but for some reason think I won't have noticed that! or whatnot!) - it's obvious and a little awkward, but it's a convention that's useful and I don't "not value" anyone. :)
astaria_archives: (lynz - motherfucking ninja)
How was everyone's day/evening?

Today we had plans to go to Graceland Cemetary (one of the largest park-style cemetaries in the US, and home of dozens of famous people, including a bunch of Chicago's most famous architects [Burnham has his own island he's entombed on. Like fucking Avalon.]) Anyway, that didn't pan out, but we still have plans to go sometime.

It was sort of good that we didn't, anyway, because we ended up using an entire 1GB memory card taking pictures of me running around like a douchebag in my Killjoys costume.

For the unaware/uninitiated/un...obsessed?, the Killjoys are from MCR's new album (Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys). MTV actually does a better job getting into depth with the new album and its details than I could, or even, weirdly, than MCR does for the most part, so I'll just link you: My Chemical Romance tag @ Definitely, definitely watch the new video.

Done with that?
Okay, so. MCR have been encouraging their fans to dress up as Killjoys (hardly necessary: when I saw the new video I was already planning my costume) and develop characters. Hence, a lot of running around picture taking.

Everybody Wants To Change The World -- A Photoset )

So that's my character (created with generous help from Jessi/[ profile] lunamorgan, who also took these fantastic photos), and...these are approximately a tenth of the photos we took. That we kept. Seriously, we took 300 pictures o_O


Crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth. This entry has comment count unavailable comments.
Please feel free to comment at the original post, or here on LJ.
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Haven't been especially good about posting lately. I have some notes from scribbled posts on the way to/from work that I've written in a journal, but now isn't the time.

I just want to let everyone know that every day is defriending amnesty day around here.

And/or (for example, if I'm a frequent commenter/friend of yours but you don't have me friended back, thus I have become some kind of imposition, or I've done something to offend you, or whatever): if you have an issue with me, please let me know. Either we can work through it or we can go our separate ways.

Thing is, it would be nice to actually know these things so I'm not sitting here with no idea, thinking it's all ok, doing the same annoying thing over and over when I could stop, or what not.


[ETA: Comments screened.]
astaria_archives: (ianto - i still have that stopwatch)
Hey guys, I'm setting up for a major friends cut and I wanted to forewarn people.

This is nothing personal: I love all of you. Lately, though, my life has gotten so hectic with work, trying desperately to get back on track with online classes, thinking about freelance web design again to pull in some extra money -- and even, potentially, smashing things like "art" and "writing" into my schedule, haha -- that even opening my flist can be daunting, emotionally, much less posting.

I have a tendency to friend everyone with even remotely similar interests to me. And this has ended up with a lot of great friends who I wouldn't have otherwise met, and again, I love all of you. But I need to pare things down. I was seriously considering making an entirely new journal or deleting this thing for a while, but so much of my life is here and I hope I'm not offending anyone by making this decision - it really is for my own emotional health.

If you would like to stay, like reading my entries or writing, whatever -- please let me know in the comments. And I'm always around at twitter (@winged).

[Edit: Thank you guys! I'm just getting to my LJ at 2 in the morning, so it's hard to get to everyone to give hugs but I really do appreciate that people like having me around. Also, keeping this public in case I accidentally cut someone or something stupid. I'll post a "you're still on the island" type post tomorrow probably.]
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This is actually reposted from the comments of Deeply Problematic, from several weeks ago now I believe, but it was long enough to be a post, and I figured I've been wanting to use this blog for actual blogging anyway.

The commenter writes,

Okay, I just found your blog from a Google search on "Thin Privilege".

As someone who's been overweight most of my life, I don't buy the idea of "thin privilege". Maybe for the people who can eat all day long and still be skinny, but not me. I busted my ass for a year, dieting hard and training hard, and I'm in great shape because of it. And yes, people (especially women) treat me very differently because of it. Does it suck that people weren't so nice to me before? Yes.

However, my main issue with this is that we (the royal we) are ultimately responsible for our weight, health, and self-esteem. Not anyone else. If being so overweight and everything that comes along with it is so bad, you can change that by dieting and exercising. No it sure as hell isn't easy, and unfortunately people feel as if it should be.

And yes I am aware that I have a very arrogantly-titled blog, and that you possibly might me off as a total douchebag because of it. But at least hear me out.

I replied with a long rant about privilege, health and body acceptance )

What do you guys think? Is there such a thing as "thin privilege"? Am I completely wrong?
What about poverty? Why doesn't class privilege get discussed re: obesity and who gets considered beautiful more often?
And is it really more healthy to be thinner - no matter what? Or is this all just about what's beautiful?

Crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth
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So today has been the awesome day of writer's guides (warnings for triggers as per what the guide is talking about), which I found super interesting in an autobiographical way, as well as really useful for when I write about things I haven't, myself, experienced (without having to do them!) :D

Writer's Guides
-Ecstasy by [ profile] apiphile
-Meth by [ profile] jumpthesnark
-Marijuana by [ profile] strangecreature
-PTSD by [ profile] rachelmanija
-Dear [not just urban fantasy] authors by [ profile] kaigou (a guide to street/fringe life, with good guides/rants for - and warnings applicable to - gang and drug culture, the hardcore scene, weaponry and why it gets used, living with no money, child abuse and a host of other things)

Not only was I very impressed with all of these, I thought, "I wish I had something to contribute! I haven't done ANYTHING! My life isn't exciting."

Well, there is one thing I can talk about with some expertise. I don't know how frequently it comes up in fanfiction or original fiction, but there are certainly some myths to dispel, and I don't mind at all my experiences being used to write fiction with more accuracy, so.

Shiver and Shake: A Guide To Epilepsy
Read on... )

Um...that's about it. Any questions? Any need for more personal experience? Betaing? Whatever?

Whoa, it's officially my birthday.
And officially time for me to be in bed. Night, guys.

Crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth


Jul. 14th, 2009 12:26 am
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Just as an aside, I have a couple (2) extra DW codes if anyone wants them.

If you DON'T want to join DW, but you did want to add my other thing that I'm doing ([info - personal] thinkhappythoughts), which I just updated, adding /data/rss to its normal address will allow you to add it to your Google Reader or feed of choice.

It's mostly for me, so I get if no one wants to come read along, but if people want to comment back things that make them happy, it can be fun and interactive ;)


Jul. 11th, 2009 09:58 pm
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Aw, what a nice night. So the Jessigirl and [ profile] modernsaints took me out for a surprise early birthday outing, all secretive-like :D.

We went to the Vosges store first, because we like to do things backwards, and also because it closes earlier. It was awesome. Awesomely purple and beautiful and oh, so much lovely stuff everywhere. I wish I'd brought my camera. Virginia Plain was playing when we went in, which was hilarious because we'd just been talking about Velvet Goldmine (which [ profile] sharpest_rose brought up earlier, and which the roomie still has yet to see: I made it another condition of my birthday that we all watch it together, lol).

We basically ran around like little kids in a, well, candy shop. They have clothes, too. I very nearly bought myself a cute puffed-sleeve blazer with coppery pinstripes - SO CUTE - but refrained. Probably very expensive.

Instead, we got some truffles, and Emily got some minibars, and we shared some ice cream (Pandan and Naga, mmmm) and Jessi and Emily both got the Bianca cold chocolate drink, which is lavendar and lemon myrtle with white chocolate and is nicely herbal with a fruity aftertaste (that can taste a little like Froot Loops).

Then we headed to Minnie's, where everything is tiny. It was adooorable. I got a tiny tuna melt, a tiny veggie sandwich and a tiny pizza, along with a tiny limonada and a tiny glass of water and...actually fairly normal sized fries. SO CUTE OMG.

It was all up in the Lincoln Park neighborhood, and everything around there is really cool, aside from the frat boys, but the stores are just adorable and, um, I want an apartment with a tower, kthx.

There was something else I wanted to mention. I don't know. We had a really good time. It was awesome, and I love my girlfriend and my roomie for being awesome, and I had a lot of fun. <3

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth
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As I mentioned to someone - or possibly just in my last LJ post - I love trailers. And is a good way of feeding the addiction. I'm not going to talk too much here, so apologies for not cutting,'s just a bunch of videos.


Dude, I LOVED the original Fame, ok? And I had friends who went to LaGuardia, plus I went to an art school in Hartford, so I take art school musicals with a grain of salt. But this looks really good :D And I am SO PLEASED that they didn't grab all the Disney kids for it.

It Might Get Loud

A documentary about Jimmy Page, The Edge and Jack White? Sign me up. Also, hello Jack looking pretty (as always).

District 9

Looks like an intriguing take on a "done" subject...but it could go horribly, horribly badly. We'll see.


I've always liked Amelia Aerhart, so putting Hilary Swank + Richard Gere + Ewan McGregor + Christopher Eccleston in a movie about her makes the whole thing pretty appealing, frankly.

I don't know if I posted this particular trailer for The 27 Club before, but it's a good one:

I've been wanting desperately to see that movie ever since I first heard about it. The fact that the main character is Joe Anderson, who I loved in Across The Universe, helps, along with the road-trip-ensemble-cast mentality of the movie, and. Uh. The fact that I like movies about musicians that strongly resemble Kurt Cobain?

Anyway, here's another clip from the movie that I liked.

Finn's Rise To Fame:

Yeaaah, there's probably going to be some prequel fanfic written about those two boys >_>

I still have no idea when it's going to be available on DVD :| Right now it's available through IFC On-Demand, and if you're in London, it's going to be in theatrical release this and next week, you lucky bastards.

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth


Jul. 6th, 2009 07:01 pm
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Sometime I forget to post my real-life stuff in here, but I try whenever possible.

So here's some real life stuff. Last night I had a grand mal again, and apparently slammed my head and shoulder pretty hard falling out of the computer chair because now I have a black eye and a temple all bruised, and my shoulder is so tender that you can't touch it or move it much. I bit my tongue, of course.

Jessi was amazing; she held me on my side so I didn't swallow anything I might throw up, and got Emily to call 911, and ...from there we sat in the ER for...8 hours...while I got a CT scan and x-rayed and bloodwork done and generally waited on everything. Everything looked "normal". Fantastic. I wanted to throw up. (I did throw up. It was such a good time, let me tell you.) I'm pretty sure I had another semi-seizure in the hospital. Not a full grand mal, but intense tonic-clonics and myeclonics all over my body, that I was completely aware of. It was...weird. They gave me Atavan for it and it chilled out. I keep wondering why I don't just go on Atavan, because it always works in the E.R.

So then we came home at 9 in the morning and slept until now-ish.

Apparently this time I didn't forget too much of what happened other than the seizure itself, because the last thing I remember before the seizure, was building my Sims house, and that's what was still up afterwards, and by the time I was coming to they were already here to pick me up, and I remember being picked up into the ambulance. And unlike last time the way I fell wasn't impossible from the way I was sitting, so I think I just had a seizure out of nowhere. Fun times. I'm going to have to keep that chair lower so next time I send it flying across the room I'm not falling two feet down.

We, of course, just found out that I'm not on medical insurance anymore, so we're looking at signing me up for Medicaid. I have to email people to let them know that I can't come in for an interview, which really pisses me off because I can't have seizures getting in the way of jobs all the time. Dad wants me to get an epilepsy bracelet. Jessi wants me to drink more water and stop staying up so late and mostly be on the bed if I'm going to be online. That last part I know I should have been doing already, anyway.

This totally killed my "today I'm going to finish my Color Theory class, and meet with RMJ, and finish job applications!!" thing. I can barely get out of bed right now. I get random waves of nausea...definitely a concussion.

Well, enough of this cheery banter. I need to get up a little bit and see how far I can get.
Oh, and food just arrived. Nice soft food that won't hurt my tongue. Maybe I'll eat that and watch some Torchwood.
I love you all <3

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth


Jun. 22nd, 2009 02:46 pm
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I remembered that this was going to be my blog about body acceptance as well, but I didn't post my last "fat rant" here, so here's another, courtesy of The Rotund, a great blog, and my own insights.

In response to this article promoting more plus-sized options on the market, someone commented, "Fat shouldn't be pretty".

So The Rotund muses on that concept.

Shouldn’t - Should and could are interesting words. I used to have an English teacher, when I was in grade school, who would correct students who asked if they COULD go to the bathroom with “Of course you CAN - the question is, are you allowed?” COULD and COULDN’T indicate ability. SHOULD and SHOULDN’T indicate responsible, one might even go so far as to say moral, courses of actions.

It isn’t that fat people lack the ability to be pretty, it’s that they should not as a moral course of action.

I mean, if fat people were to run around feeling good and looking confident, ordinary people might get confused and find them attractive and treat them like actual humans who are autonomous beings! And, well, that would lead to dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria.

Maybe this is the real fear that rests below so much fat hate (and so much hatred of anyone who is “different” - whether it be people of color or transpeople or gay people or people who like show tunes or whatever) - the fear that they might have to question what they thought they knew about themselves, might have to feel their way through unfamiliar territory to be their actual selves instead of relying on media and pop culture to define what is acceptable.


Fats should be whatever the hell they want to be. They should be pretty or they should reject the very concept - either way, they should know that they don’t owe anyone anything when it comes to aesthetics.

Fats should dress however the hell they want. They should have the brio to wear fitted clothes or trapeze dresses or skinny jeans or phat pants or anything that expresses what they want to express.

I entirely agree, for one thing. For another, I wonder what it is that terrifies people so much.

cutting for those sensitive to dieting issues and because this whole thing is a little tl;dr  )

As an entirely different rant, the fact that they're including Forever 21's new line, Faith 21, in that article, makes me laugh. Faith 21, aside from the dumb name, only goes up to a size 15/16*, unlike most plus size stores that go up to 28 or 32 (which means that they're opening an entire new line "only in select stores" to include three sizes that they should have had to begin with). A size 15? is a 2X in that line. Oh yes. Let's make teenagers have that great experience of once again not fitting anything -- only this time in a plus-targeted store.

An aside: if anyone feels like the first part of this should also be behind the cut or if I should title body acceptance rants differently than my normal numbered entries, please let me know.

*US sizing

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth


May. 30th, 2009 08:23 pm
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We found out that we're all good on the apartment! :D We will be living in the Ukrainian Village with my friend Emily and it is going to be awesome

and oh my GOD we have to get everything packed because we're moving on Monday but that's okay. I'm only slightly behind on that, because I'm mildly sick, and trying to see as many of my Louisville friends as possible one last time before we move, but we'll get it done.

I can only imagine the insanity we will get up to.

Lacey (who is over, must run) has already promised she'll come visit for my birthday if she can find someone to drive with her.

Also, done with my bandom big bang art. Whew. I hope they like it. It's not great, but I tried hard? I need to update my portfolio.

Anyway, this may mean I'm off the internet completely for a few days (at very least, will be around Monday and Tuesday), so if I don't see you guys in the next few days, I love you a lot :)

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth


May. 24th, 2009 11:59 pm
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Okay, but this made me feel better:

Cake or Death - Eddie Izzard
in LEGOs

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth


May. 24th, 2009 11:30 pm
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Ugh. Tonight sucks.

My entire left side hurts for no apparent reason. It started last night with my foot, and now my entire arm (elbow, hand and shoulder) are so sore that I can barely type. It's not carpal tunnel because it's not my wrist - it's the little bones of my hand and my joints, and it's a different hand than usual. I am not pleased.

Especially because I was going to write something for [info - community]contrelamontre, dammit. Well, first I was going to do my Dreamweaver assignment, but I was hurting too bad: then I was going to write something, but I'm still hurting too bad. I still haven't taken photos of my BJDs like I'd planned or done anything with my art journal. I did take pictures of Jess, though, and they're pretty.

Add to that the fact that we're supposed to be moving in like, a week, and haven't heard from anybody about an apartment, and just found out that my parents' apartment doesn't allow people not on the lease to live there (although they think that children probably don't count, but they don't know, and they're not sure about "daughter's lesbian fiancee").

My parents said they were willing to spot us a little more money than they had originally planned to help us get a studio or something, because their house was less expensive than they expected. Which is tremendously generous of them, but still doesn't solve the problem. The whole point was that we were subletting because we need to be there to do interviews -- everyone wants to do in person interviews and applying is easier that way -- and we were giving ourselves a time limit "make it or break it" sort of deal to get jobs, or move in with my parents and apply there.

So the problem with getting our own place is that
(1) We don't have those jobs yet - and almost no money - so getting our own lease, instead of finishing off someone else's, would be almost impossible
therefore, the only reasonable way to live without roommates would be to have my parents sign the lease, or to have them sign as guarantors,
(2)barely anyone does month-to-month or three-month leases, and we don't want to mess around with having my parents signing a 6-month or year-long lease, because if we don't get jobs we can't move out and we've just tied my parents into an extra financial obligation for twice or four times as long as we want to.

And yet, now our plan to be employed and self-sustaining within three months or moving in with my parents in fucking Mamaroneck seems like it's more complicated than just living in Chicago.
Or, you know in a box. Why didn't they check this stuff?

dfasdlkj. I am so stressed out. I have also just typed enough to have written the damn story.

We have, however, hung out with Lacey (and Krista - I wish I was better friends with her, she's cool) twice this week, so that's cool. I hope to get to see other friends this week.

Oh, and I have a cute new haircut. So yay?

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth
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Films I must see when I next have access to them in theatres, or when they hit DVD, whichever comes first: (Yes, I have discovered TrailerAddict, and it is not a good thing, because I budget in enough time and money for about a movie a month o_O;)

The 27 Club

Joe Anderson is my movie boyfriend. Every time I watch this trailer I want to see the movie a little more.

Sounds Like Teen Spirit:

(I'm a sucker for documentaries and films involving kids, and accomplishing useless but great feats. Bouncy pop music is a side bonus.)

Oh look, another documentary!


The trailer is a little heavy-handed (in English at least) but it's not LYING. I also think this must be by the same guys who did Winged Migration, which was absolutely STUNNING. I would watch this just for the visuals, even if I completely disagreed, which I obviously don't.

Movie I haven't decided about yet )

Not in the Next Month, but have to see regardless: )

[edit: fixed!]

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth


May. 18th, 2009 05:11 pm
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So, the boys we were talking to about living with seem to be a not-option. When Jessi finally prompted them about how likely it was that we were going to be roomies, they answered back with, "Well, our roomie thinks he might not move out now..."

Which, I know they need some options open but not telling us that until now? Puts us in a really bad position. We want to be up there by June and this pattern of waiting five days between emails and then not saying anything is a short trip to homelessness for us.

We talked to Emily, who's going to be hearing back from a job interview tomorrow, and if she gets it, we might split a two bedroom with her -- then if we need to leave because we're not finding jobs we'll be responsible for finding a sublet or something. We're still looking for sublets in case she doesn't, or if her parents don't want her to, or whatever, but hopefully that'll work out. I think it'll be better for all of us if we're sharing one, less expensive and we won't be sharing with a total stranger, etc etc.

Hopefully at least ONE of those options will work out. If not...I don't know.

In other news, I've got a neurologist appointment on Thursday, so that should be...uh, fun? At least I can get refills on my medication before trying to find a place to go in Chicago.

I also have two DW codes, so if anyone wants one for any reason, let me know.

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth


May. 15th, 2009 04:04 pm
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I went to do this yesterday and then I ...had a seizure. Oh well. Doing it now.
First meme of this journal! I feel like...I'm christening it, somehow.

Comment here saying you want to play. I will find seven things off of your profile and you have to post in your journal with why you are interested in them. At that time, I will comment and squee. And possibly also participate in the fun by having you choose seven of my interests. We will go round and round and round.

Warning: I go on AT LENGTH. AT LENGTH. That's what happens when you ask me about things I like. Oh well.

[info - personal]noxie gave me:

amanda palmer

Amanda Palmer, sometimes of the Dresden Dolls and always of her lovely self, is an amazing singer and performer. I first encountered her as the singer for DD -- and who could resist an indie band that label themselves "brechtian punk cabaret"? -- but right now she has out a solo album, which is fantastic. It's called Who Killed Amanda Palmer? and it was put out in conjunction with a book of short stories by Neil Gaiman (oh look, another one of my interests) and photos by Kyle Cassidy.

If you haven't heard of her, you should go run over to her (Myspace) and/or possibly her (twitter).

I like her not only because her music is amazing (and often controversial: her single Oasis is banned from radio play in the UK) but also because she herself is awesome. She talks about everything and isn't afraid to share what she thinks in her blogs: reading them is like having a close friend.

And despite her following, she holds on to her integrity: Her label thinks she isn't trying hard enough to sell albums, but she relentlessly refuses to change what she does (to the point of writing them open, angry letters: she's in a contract, but that doesn't mean she can't make them really uncomfortable with her); they tried to cut her "Leeds United" video because she showed her oh-so-fat-tummy, which not only made her furious but incited an entire movement of tummy love in response; if you mention on her twitter that you can't afford a ticket, she'll put you on the guest list to her shows; she once threw an impromptu all-ages party because her shows in Australia were 18+.

Plus, her clothes are killer and she harrasses people to vote.

Okay, I think I've taken up enough space with Amanda!love. The next few are under a cut.

body acceptance | david bowie | derek morgan | knowing all the words | oscar wilde | todd haynes )

Okay, now you :)

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth


May. 15th, 2009 02:51 pm
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So, for those of you not on my girlfriend's LJ flist, yesterday was kind of...eventful.

As in, I had a grand mal seizure.

I don't have grand mal seizures (in fact, every time I explain my epilepsy I go, "okay, so you know 'convulsions', like you normally think of when someone says epilepsy? I don't have those"...well, apparently I do.), so this should be freaking me out more than it is, sort of, but really because I'm a hypochrondriac and every woman on my maternal line for a generation (eg, my mom and my mom's sister) has had grand mal seizures, I figured it was just a matter of time.

I was also terrified of the prospect, because I don't know, I thought it might be scary, or the idea of not controlling my body freaked me out, or something. I already didn't like it enough as it was: not being able to drive, sometimes not finishing sentences or repeating them, not hearing the middle of other people's sentences. The idea of full on convulsions freaked me right the fuck out.

Well, it should have, but not how I thought.

So the last thing I remember before the seizure is sitting on the bed with my rats. The first thing after the seizure I remember is Jessi telling me, "FAYE. FAYE. You had a seizure," and getting me changed and sitting me down to wait for the ambulance. She tells me later I kept backing up to things and not knowing how to sit down, and she told me that she told me I had a seizure at least four times, which I don't remember.

By the time I was in the ambulance I was mostly coherent, which was actually sort of a pain in the ass because it meant that the times I wasn't coherent (ie: "What state are you moving to?" "Chicago" "...So, the city of Illinois, then?") were as embarrassing as they were funny. But the EMTs were nice, even if the line they started was kind of painful, and for never having ridden in an ambulance before it was...actually not terrible, or especially frightening since the worst was already over.

Plus, no four hour wait in the ER! Score. Just a, y'know, four hour stay in the ER.

my day in the ER )

But yeah. Feeling fine today, except for a lingering headache and a black eye and tongue pain. Jessi's watching me like a hawk. Poor thing, she called my mom freaking out yesterday and was very clingy all of yesterday. :( :( :( I don't like freaking her out.

Photos of my war wounds! )

On the good side, afterwards Courtney (and Foster) picked us up and we got Sonic since we hadn't eaten all day. Mmmm cranberry slushy. And, we have a new rattie! We named her Blind Mag after the Sarah Brightman character in Repo! The Genetic Opera, since albino rats are mostly blind. (Plus, as I realized later, Mag is a derivative of Margaret, which means "Pearl", and she's a soft ivory white, compared to Nico's stark white). Incidentally, if you haven't seen Repo, you must.

I still want a white rattie named Vanya, but possibly a totally shy, OCD, passive one is not the one. (Mag and Nico got along so well in part because every time Nico did something dominant to test her, Mag just backed away and let her go instead of fighting. Now they just groom eachother. Cute.)

crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth
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