10.

May. 15th, 2009 02:51 pm
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[personal profile] astaria_archives
So, for those of you not on my girlfriend's LJ flist, yesterday was kind of...eventful.

As in, I had a grand mal seizure.

I don't have grand mal seizures (in fact, every time I explain my epilepsy I go, "okay, so you know 'convulsions', like you normally think of when someone says epilepsy? I don't have those"...well, apparently I do.), so this should be freaking me out more than it is, sort of, but really because I'm a hypochrondriac and every woman on my maternal line for a generation (eg, my mom and my mom's sister) has had grand mal seizures, I figured it was just a matter of time.

I was also terrified of the prospect, because I don't know, I thought it might be scary, or the idea of not controlling my body freaked me out, or something. I already didn't like it enough as it was: not being able to drive, sometimes not finishing sentences or repeating them, not hearing the middle of other people's sentences. The idea of full on convulsions freaked me right the fuck out.

Well, it should have, but not how I thought.

So the last thing I remember before the seizure is sitting on the bed with my rats. The first thing after the seizure I remember is Jessi telling me, "FAYE. FAYE. You had a seizure," and getting me changed and sitting me down to wait for the ambulance. She tells me later I kept backing up to things and not knowing how to sit down, and she told me that she told me I had a seizure at least four times, which I don't remember.

By the time I was in the ambulance I was mostly coherent, which was actually sort of a pain in the ass because it meant that the times I wasn't coherent (ie: "What state are you moving to?" "Chicago" "...So, the city of Illinois, then?") were as embarrassing as they were funny. But the EMTs were nice, even if the line they started was kind of painful, and for never having ridden in an ambulance before it was...actually not terrible, or especially frightening since the worst was already over.

Plus, no four hour wait in the ER! Score. Just a, y'know, four hour stay in the ER.



However, I had apparently done some massive 180-spin off the bed and under the chair (which is where Jessi found me) or something, because I had a cheekbone that hurt so bad that I thought I'd broken it - it isn't, and now it's a hell of a shiner - scraped back, bruised knuckles, and bit my tongue all the way around so that it's got bloody scabs around every side of it. Fun. I also have sore spots on my head and neck, from scrapes.

I was in a lot of pain, and wouldn't let the doctors touch my face, and they were like, "Do you want something to help with the pain?" to which I said yes of course. So they gave me a dose of morphine. *_* Whoa. Also, I had no idea morphine (a) made you that dizzy or (b)itched that bad. At first I thought I was having an allergic reaction but the nurse was just like, "Sorry :| It itches." And then I recalled from reading all my stories of heroin woe that opiates do that.

It didn't really make me loopy though. Just a little bit tired. Not very entertaining at all. And things still hurt, just not quite as bad. Sort of like my mom described: in the way where you know you still hurt but it doesn't matter. I didn't notice until it had worn off that it had helped. But by then a big dose of ibuprofen was doing just fine. (I'm kind of glad morphine doesn't make me feel magically better, anyway. I can't imagine being addicted to something that itches that bad! It's horrifying! I wanted to tear my skin off!)

So anyway, they did a CAT/C-T scan to see if something wonky in my brain had caused it or if I'd hurt anything, and a monster amount of bloodwork - at which point I got to hear the doctor bitch about EMTs always starting lines in your hand because they're easier, but they're not as useful. He sounded just like my mom. Anyway, it all looked fine, I think. We're speculating that I had the seizure because of (a)possibly forgetting to take my meds, (b)being dehydrated and (c)stress. I'd been taking less Keppra than ordered for a while, because it hadn't seemed to help and it was making me a little out of it, but I'm going back to my regular dose. The doctors told me to meet with my neurologist, which I'm going to do when I'm home. I have an appointment for Wednesday, I think.

So, yes. The dramaz. We also had two dramatic ER across-the-curtain-neighbors, including one who had gotten beaten by her husband of 11 years and kept declaring that she wanted to "beat the hell out of that motherfucker" (I wanted to too!) but that she was scared to leave him and her son loved him. D: and also a guy before her who was advised that he had internal bleeding and couldn't eat anything and was like, "Screw that, I'm out of here" and signed a medical waiver so he could get home in time for dinner even though he might die.

At least this happened after I was back on medical insurance. I can't imagine having to pay for an ambulance on my own. Roanoke has the highest health care in the country - I'm serious - because of Carillion. It's apparently about $500 to get across front quad in an ambulance, much less the 20 minute drive to Roanoke Memorial.


But yeah. Feeling fine today, except for a lingering headache and a black eye and tongue pain. Jessi's watching me like a hawk. Poor thing, she called my mom freaking out yesterday and was very clingy all of yesterday. :( :( :( I don't like freaking her out.


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On the good side, afterwards Courtney (and Foster) picked us up and we got Sonic since we hadn't eaten all day. Mmmm cranberry slushy. And, we have a new rattie! We named her Blind Mag after the Sarah Brightman character in Repo! The Genetic Opera, since albino rats are mostly blind. (Plus, as I realized later, Mag is a derivative of Margaret, which means "Pearl", and she's a soft ivory white, compared to Nico's stark white). Incidentally, if you haven't seen Repo, you must.

I still want a white rattie named Vanya, but possibly a totally shy, OCD, passive one is not the one. (Mag and Nico got along so well in part because every time Nico did something dominant to test her, Mag just backed away and let her go instead of fighting. Now they just groom eachother. Cute.)


crossposted to LJ from Dreamwidth

Date: 2009-05-15 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clumsygyrl.livejournal.com
*pets* that all looks owie.

Date: 2009-05-15 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
*is petted* :) Thanks.
Yeah, not so fun, but I'll live ;)

Date: 2009-05-15 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nerves-patterns.livejournal.com
Oh, geeze. I'm glad you're okay, and thank goodness for insurance. Scary.

Date: 2009-05-15 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
Yeah, not fun. Thanks, though. This is one of those times I go, "Hmmm...why don't I live in a country with nationalized health care?" The thought of potentially losing my health care in six months (since I'll have graduated and might very well not have benefits yet in whatever new job I have) does NOT appeal to me.

Date: 2009-05-15 10:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sharpest_rose.livejournal.com
Oh hell, you poor thing, that sounds frightening and uncomfortable and painful as all get out. I hope you are being coddled a LOT today. I send vibes of love and saulte your lovely rat-naming skills. (I named the one I had a few years ago Fatone, after a member of nsync, ahahaha).

Date: 2009-05-15 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
*snugs*! It's definitely uncomfortable, but you know, it's not really that frightening, at least for me, because I don't remember any of it. At least I was already diagnosed with epilepsy and we had SOME explanation! I hope this doesn't stay a thing, though.

(I used to be terrified of having them because my dad said in passing once that my mom made a scared noise and gesture right before having one, and I imagined they might be scary, or something. Now I know first hand that ...there's no possible way to know WHAT they feel like at the time, because that memory is just gone. Which is sort of relieving. I don't remember anything from some unspecified time before it happened until about 20 minutes after it stopped.)

I am being coddled (very well!), but trying to coddle back ;) since Jessi was very freaked out by the whole adventure and is now in "uber-protective-follow-me-everywhere" mode. Poor thing *luffs*. She said at first when she came back in the room and saw me on the floor she had a panic attack like, "Is she dead?" D: I don't like scaring my girlfriend!

Date: 2009-05-15 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
Oh! and thank you re: ratnaming :D Hee at Fatone. Cute! I'm used to animals named after band boys, when I was in high school my friends' cat had kittens and they named them Brian, AJ and Kevin. Only, Brian and AJ turned out to be girls, so it became Brianna, AJ-for-Alexandra-Jamie and...Kevin. (Howie and Nick got no love, I guess :D)

Have you seen Repo?

Date: 2009-05-15 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nova-bright.livejournal.com
DDDDDDDDDDDDD:

I'm really glad you're ok.

Grand mal seizures freak me the hell out because of my father's heart problem induced ones that I've witnessed.

They are really distressing, and took me a long time to get over being worried about. It's a hard thing to see someone you love go through that.

Feel better bb.

Date: 2009-05-15 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
*snugs* Yup, feeling much better now. Except for the bitten tongue, but I can't do much about that. Thanks <333

Aw, hon. That would be really tough. I caught the tail end of my mom having one and that was not fun DD:, so I know the person having it really can't know how freaky it is to watch and am trying to be nice to the Jessi-shaped-girl (she just saw the end too - which I think is half why she's still scared: she says she doesn't know what to watch for).

Date: 2009-05-15 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andrew-day.livejournal.com
I'm glad you are doing better. ♥

Carillion blows.

Date: 2009-05-15 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
Thank you, hon! <3

INDEED. But hey, if they hand out morphine like that on a regular basis, maybe I can understand how their health care costs so much o_O

Date: 2009-05-15 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wellowned.livejournal.com
oh honey. i'm glad you're ok. but that's fucking scary. i mean, i know that it was possible, but that's one of those... back of the mind things you don't really consider, you know?

i'm glad you were back on insurance! health care is ridiculous. i think we should all move to somewhere with national healthcare. canada? france? both have arrangements for gay marriage too, come to think of it, so... *shrug*

at any rate, *hugs* jessi's good for taking care of you.

Date: 2009-05-15 10:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
Me either! I was kind of shocked, but I just sort of rolled with it. I don't want to make it a trend though :|

Health care IS ridiculous. If you'll translate, I'll totally move to France. Man, you get child care subsidized by the state there. And enormous amounts of time off.

*hugs* Jessi IS good for taking care of me. She'd laugh at both of us for saying that, of course ;) but I'll tell her you said so.

Date: 2009-05-15 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wellowned.livejournal.com
hee. ok, well, i've got a year before i'm done with school, so if we can put it off til then? lol. i'll translate whatever comes up.

i read about the amount of stuff they do for you. you get paid your full paycheck when you take prescribed sick leave, even if it's like you say you're depressed and the doc prescribes two months off to re-center or what have you and you spend all that time at the beach. the gov't pays you to take proper care of yourself when you're pregnant. their health care is amazing.

Date: 2009-05-15 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] petite-tadpole.livejournal.com
That is super scary, but it sounds like you are dealing with it well. Your battle wounds look ouchie :(

Date: 2009-05-16 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
Yeah, I think it's less scary for me than it was for Jessi. They do hurt though! Especially my tongue. That's the really annoying part about the whole thing. Well, right now it is, before I get the lecture from my neurologist about staying up late ;)

Date: 2009-05-15 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angelchildr.livejournal.com
*still clings*

:-(!!!!!!

Date: 2009-05-16 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
*snuuuuugggs* <333

Date: 2009-05-16 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] renne.livejournal.com
OMG! *hugs carefully*

Date: 2009-05-16 12:22 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-05-16 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astaria51.livejournal.com
*huuuugs*

(Aw, your Rorschach/Dan icon :D)

Date: 2009-05-16 12:56 am (UTC)
ext_12410: (chocolate mouse)
From: [identity profile] tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com
you look like someone punched you in the eye! :( i'm so glad you're ok, tho.

Date: 2009-05-16 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] balladsofmirth.livejournal.com
oh hon. i am so glad you're okay. that's so scary. wow.

Date: 2009-05-16 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] balladsofmirth.livejournal.com
p.s. i love that you tangled with your condition and won. f., you are hardcore.

Date: 2009-05-16 01:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alternatekeys.livejournal.com
I'm so glad that you're okay, I'm sure that must have been awful.

*hugs*

Date: 2009-05-16 03:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quarterturn.livejournal.com
Holy shit, that's awful. I know grand mals can be terrifying, my uncle had them pretty frequently toward the end of his battle with brain cancer. :( Hopefully getting back on the higher dose of meds will keep it from happening again. I'm so glad you're ok!

Date: 2009-05-16 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaze-taco.livejournal.com
Oh man, I'm so glad that you're okay! x-x

At least you don't remember the seizures really, it must be scary being aware but not being able to control anything. So I mean... I don't know... at least you didn't have to go through that?

(Oh man your tongue looks like it must really hurt! .___.)

Date: 2009-05-16 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acroamatica.livejournal.com
Yoicks. Glad you got through it all right. *hugs*

Date: 2009-05-16 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anothersadsong.livejournal.com
oh, gosh, that's scary. at least nothing too bad happened, even though it looks like you were in a pretty bad fight. so, so glad you're okay. ♥

Date: 2009-05-18 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] forevernew.livejournal.com
Ack! I'm glad you're doing better, but still, ack! *hugs gently*

Date: 2009-05-18 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trackscovered.livejournal.com
Ouch. Dude, I'm really glad you're mostly ok.

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